Adira stares hard at her, finding it difficult to accept those words. How could she say them? That creature is a stranger. It's only been a few hours since she met that nameless creature.
"Because of someone else, you want to end everything between us?"
Is that all she feels about him?
Her chest feels a pang of sharp pain when she sees the hurt in his eyes. She inhales sharply. Were they always this different? She knows that she's not a saint. However, how could she accept this? "I don't think that I can look at myself in the mirror or continue to love you if I fail to protect him."
"He is more important to you than I am." Adira curls his fingers when she looks away from him. "Does he really remind you of me or the time that you spent with Kyo? Is your heart wavering because he calls you sister?"
Though it doesn't show on her face, the words pierce her heart. What did he mean by those words? No innocence lasts long in this wicked world. She loves him. Nothing can ever change that fact. But she understands something now. Loving someone tremendously doesn't mean that one can understand the person's heart. Why is she feeling like Adira has never understood her? Is it because he's a god and she's a mortal?
She doesn't want to explain herself to someone who can't understand her.
"Yes, my heart is wavering." Ari walks to Ai and grabs his arm. The child has been quiet, but she could see that he's been quivering in pain. She looks over her shoulder and tells Adira, "Dark God, he and I will come to trial on time. Don't look for me."
What? Adira frowns at her. Is she going somewhere? In the next instant, Ari and Ai vanish before his eyes. He stays still, watching the empty darkness before him. She really left him because of someone else. Someone must have helped her leave with Ai. He parts his lips and inhales sharply. Does she not love him anymore?
She likes children. The love that she showed to Kyo is different from the love that she shows to him. He had doubts. So, he had been trying to love her more. She always seemed unhappy about something. He can't remain the same boy anymore. Did her heart truly change because he is no longer the same? Though he loves her so much, she's truly ready to end everything because of another creature.
"I won't look for you." He utters with rage in his eyes, "Stay with that boy then. I will wait for you in the trial and I will erase him with my own hands."
Before that, he must find out the gods who are helping her.
***
"A trial." Kresi raises her brow. "So, the soul who replaced me is going to pay for some sins that I committed before I died."
"Come with me." Noras has explained everything to her. There are some things that he doesn't know either. The trial would reveal all the answers. "She has already suffered enough. Cina is insisting on the trial because of the death of his daughter, Belan. It's connected to you. Only you can truly explain what happened that night."
He could have fooled someone else, but not Kresi. She sits down on the porch. After she died, someone else replaced her soul in that wretched body. That soul was also chosen as the Renasir. Kresi puts her hand on her chest. Though she doesn't have that body, she could still feel the phantom pain from that day. She sighs. Belan is dead. Then, what happened to that child? "You don't want to punish your hero. You want me to come and take responsibility."
The girl isn't an idiot. Noras scrutinizes her. "Don't you think that she shouldn't be punished for something that you did?"
It's been ages and she's like this. She was angry that night and she chose to forget about that child. There was someone else she owed. Ai was Gabriel's son. She should have taken him out of Belan. But she chose to turn Ai into a punishment for Belan. Losing everyone one by one… and then, being alone in this place… After everything, the god of Iravan came to see her for some debts. "Let her suffer in my place then."
"Kresi." Noras takes a step toward her. "Come with me, Child. This is not heaven or hell. How long are you going to stay stuck here?"
"I don't know." She feels tired. Hatred. Pain. Abandonment. Blood. Loss. Fire. Death. She's been in this despicable cycle for a long time, even if she doesn't remember. "It hasn't been ten thousand years, has it? How many times have I been killed by the Renasir, God Noras? I don't remember the lives before I was born in the body of Kresi Mirin."
Noras purses his life. How much does she know?
"Until that soul replaced me, I was reborn again and again as the harbinger." Kresi looks at him with empty eyes. "I was killed in each life before I turned thirteen. The previous Renasirs had never noticed it. It was my mother. She created that body in the hopes of creating a creature that was both the harbinger and the renasir. Wasn't she smart? She was wrong about one thing though."
When his face becomes pale, she lets out a laugh. "The body was perfect. Her experiment shouldn't have failed. Then, why I wasn't chosen as the renasir, God Noras?"
She's watching him, just like the way she did. His throat turns dry. It's impossible. They destroyed every essence of her except for her soul. Even if she was reincarnated multiple times, she wouldn't remember anything because there's nothing left of her from each time. But, she wasn't killed by a Renasir last time. Her soul was rather pulled out of her body by another soul when she was in a weakened state. The body didn't die. So, the new soul came and became the new harbinger.
"You have been hiding a secret from everyone, haven't you?" Kresi continues with a mocking voice, "She found out that secret and told me why I wasn't chosen as the Renasir. I already know why I had to go through that punishment. Why is that punishment not enough, God Noras? You still want me to come and take more punishment? Were ten thousand years not enough?"
After a long silence, Noras answers her, "They should have been enough if you hadn't committed more sins, especially when you knew why you were being punished."
"I doubt it." Kresi smiles at him. "If my so-called mother hadn't created the special Mirin body that was compatible with the dark heart or If I hadn't got hurt by Aeline and Shayera hadn't killed me when I was in a weak state, it wouldn't have ended. God Noras, do you really want to take me with you? I don't think that it would be good for anyone if I go back to that world."
It is worse than he realized. Noras is sure that she wouldn't remember anything because she's not that person. Only the empty soul was left behind. Unfortunately, they needed a soul that would become the harbinger in each lifetime. Finding a soul that was compatible with the heart of the dark god was nearly an impossible task. "I can destroy you right now."
"Go ahead." Kresi replies lazily, "Isn't that all you do?"
Though he wants to destroy her, Noras can't bring himself to do it. The memories are gone. Emotions and feelings don't exist from that time. However, the look in those eyes is the same. A part of him knows that it was a cycle. It began from his wrong judgment, after all. He takes a deep breath. She is not that person. He can't let a mortal affect him this way. "If you want to stay here, I will not force you to come with me. However, not everyone gets a chance to make their wrongs right. Kresira Mirin, do you want to come with me?"
A chance, huh? Kresi leans against the wall and closes her eyes. Past lives don't matter to her. Despite the words that she said to that god, the heaviness in her soul isn't going away. What happened to that child after Belan died? "I will go with you."
It's just a trial. She also wants to see the faces of all the gods of Iravan, especially the Dark God.