The timekeeper closes his eyes as soon as he hears my answer. Li Jun's body falls toward me. I wrap my arms around him before we drop on the bed together. I roll him on the bed and take a deep breath.
This is the only quiet moment that I can have with him.
I try to memorize his face. It seems like I will never be this close to him again. I want to be selfish and stay here.
If he dies because of me again, can I live?
I destroyed the past and the future to let him lie a happy life. Even it's without me, he must live a happy life.
"I am sorry." I rest my head on his chest. I hear his heart beating. "The timekeeper has given me a good deal. In this lifetime, you can't be mine. I have to let you go. You already have a son and a wife. There's no place for me even if I stay."
He is breathing while I am not. I can't cry even if I want. My feelings are the only thing that makes me human. I kiss his lips for the last time.
Someone gasps behind me. "What are you doing?"
I move away from Li Jun when I hear the scream.
Wu Qiuyue's eyes are widened. Her face is whitened. "What are you doing?"
"I-I..." I don't know how to answer her. She becomes red with rage and pushes me hard. My back it the wall. The impact doesn't hurt me. I see the servants looking at me with disgust. I realize that I am dressed as a boy and I am caught kissing Li Jun who is a man. This won't look good in the eye of these people.
"How dare you taint him?" She slaps my face continuously with tears in her eyes.
"Stop." Li Jun grabs her wrist suddenly. "What are you doing?"
"He made a grave mistake." Wu Qiuyue seems disgusted and hurt. She blinks out her tears. "He kissed you."
Li Jun looks at me strangely. We stare at each other quietly. I don't have anything to say or explain. I am a temporary person in his life. Today is the last day.
"Wu Qiuyue, return to your courtyard."
She doesn't believe what she's hearing. "What did you say?"
"Go back." He stands between us. I can't see Wu Qiuyue anymore. I understand the reason behind the hurt in her voice. "I need to talk to Xiao Wei alone."
"What's there to talk about?" Wu Qiuyue asks him stubbornly. "Do you also have strange and immoral feelings for him? Is that why you were sleeping on that bed with a man?"
"Wu Qiuyue!" Li Jun shouts at her. "Have you lost your mind?"
"I have." She's quick to jump to conclusions. "After what I have seen, I have lost my mind."
They are fighting like husband and wife too. I feel heavy, unable to get up from the spot. The servants are here too. If it gets out that Li Jun has feelings for a man, the rumors might do more damage to Li Jun.
What more do I have to see and hear to realize that he is not mine anymore?
"It was just a kiss. Can't you calm down, woman?" I laugh at myself, though I want to cry. I put my elbows on my knees and look at her with a smirk on my face. "I fed something to him to make him lose consciousness. I was going to take advantage of him while he was asleep, but you came and ruined my plans."
The room becomes silent. All of them are looking at me as if I went insane. Perhaps, I have gone insane. I lick my lips. "I intended to use this opportunity to become his concubine."
Shocked, she scans my body with her eyes. "You are a woman?"
"A woman dressed as a man." I stand up and pats the dust off my body. It looks like I am unable to keep a secret for a long time. "My plans are foiled."
"Mo Wei." Li Jun grabs my forearm. "What are you saying? I know that you didn't do any of those."
I pull away from him. "General Li, do you want me as your concubine?"
"No, you can't take her. You can bring in any woman, but not her. " Wu Qiuyue stares at us, devastated. "I will kill myself if you take her as your concubine."
They say that a woman can sense from miles away if her husband's heart is wavering. Wu Qiuyue's intuition is sharp as a blade. She can already sense it.
I roll my eyes at Li Jun. "See? She's not ideal either."
***
The third Li household is in chaos. Wu Qiuyue is holding Li Hua close to her chest and crying. Li Hua is scared. He is also crying because his mother is upset.
She has never asked anything from Li Jun. She had only one wish. She wanted his heart. Three years. He didn't even look at her once the way he looked at that woman. He didn't even look at her like that at her elder sister who died wishing to be loved by him. Who is Mo Wei? That woman has a strange grip on Li Jun's heart. His gaze is different whenever he looks at Mo Wei. She can accept any woman, but not her.
Li Jun doesn't know how to calm her down. Wu Qiuyue is acting differently. She has usually been quite accepting. She has always asked him to bring women as his concubines. Why she is so against this idea now?
Why did he lose consciousness? He didn't eat or drink anything there. This is the second time when it happened. Did she really do something to him?
Wu Qiuyue wails, discarding her graceful manner. "Why aren't you in love with me?"
After a long silence, he says to her, "Wu Qiuyue, it can't be forced."
He doesn't know what he feels for the witch. He can't tell whether it's love or noot. But, it is not what he feels for Wu Qiuyue or his first wife.
She sobs harder. Li Jun sighs and walks out. He looks in the direction where Mo Wei is staying. It's hasn't been a day and she has turned his house upside down. Tensed and confused at the same time, he walks toward her courtyard to have a talk with her.