A direct confession of your feelings can’t be done with mere words. Because when your lips brush against your lover’s, words aren’t needed anymore. Then your souls do the talking.
A kiss can evoke a million things within you. It can burn a fire within your bones. And yet, it makes you feel like drowning in an ocean, gasping for air. Oddly enough, a kiss isn’t only felt by the lips. It even makes every single cell in our body come alive with desire.
When Xiao Zhiren opened his eyes, he saw how she was looking at him up close without blinking. He wanted to shake his head at her stupor but instead, he pulled away slightly to smile against her lips. He lifted his hand and closed her eyes whispering in a husky voice, "Don’t think. Let your heart feel."
Before she could open her mouth, he had captured her lips again. The soft sensation of his lips awoken her from her stupor. This time though she listened to him and didn’t think anything.
And that’s how she felt the storm that was brewing under her skin. It felt like his lips were whispering a secret while her heart was being caressed by his kisses. Nothing was rushed. He was kissing like he had all the time in this world. Like he’d rather be kissing her than doing some other useless stuff.
The movement of his lips against hers was soft and moist. But the kiss still felt hot and breathy. It wasn’t a battle and none of them was trying to win either. Xiao Zhiren bit her lip softly making her open her mouth wide before making his way in to explore the deepest recess of her mouth.
The first stroke of his tongue against hers made Ru stiffen and she opened her eyes frantically. The touch was quick and electric but she couldn’t deny that it was delicious. His hand on her waist raised to rub soothing circles on her back; reassuring her. Just when her body loosened up again, only then did Xiao Zhiren continue to shower her with love and tenderness.
He knew this kiss was way too intimate for her but he wanted to show her what it meant. He had a lot to say and he knew no word would ever be enough. That’s why he used this kiss as a messenger of his love, his tenderness, his insecurities and most of all his fear of losing her.
Ru felt much more than what he was trying to convey. She could feel his touch turning firmer, more determined and his tongue getting more curious.
Ru had always been in control of everything in her life. This could be considered as a rare moment when she was not the one in control. Rather she was allowing someone else to take control. And he did. But she didn’t find it repulsive at all.
The teasing of his tongue made her feel like he was seeking a union and closeness. They were sharing the same breath, the same sensation, the same timeless and passionate moment. For the first time, Ru wasn’t living a moment. She was feeling it with every awoken cell of her body.
She felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach but chose to ignore it altogether. She neither knew what this sensation meant nor was she inclined on finding out. At least not right now.
Xiao Zhiren only pulled away when both of them needed to catch their breath. Ru’s chest was heaving up and down in an uneven manner. Xiao Zhiren wasn’t any better if not worse but there was an indescribable emotion glimmering in his eyes while he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.
’Holy F*ck!’ Ru could only curse in her mind when she looked into his eyes. That one look had made her biggest fear come true. She officially felt her walls crumbling down leaving havoc behind.
He didn’t kiss her like he was saying goodbye neither did he kiss like it was their first hello. His kiss only screamed one thing to her; Hello for a lifetime of no goodbyes.
Seeing how she was still looking at his face without even a tinge of shyness in her eyes, Xiao Zhiren really didn’t know what to say. So, he rubbed her head saying, "I took back what I lent you... With interest."
Ru suddenly remembered how this kiss started in the first place. He was insisting he lent her something but she was also adamant that he didn’t. Now that she thought about it, this shameless person was using his words to trick her. She didn’t want to borrow the last kiss and definitely didn’t plan on giving it back tonight. But how could she say it now?
While she was contemplating what to say, he rested one hand behind her head and planted a firm kiss between her brows taking her by surprise yet again. That one kiss told her how much he respected her and how much he wanted to protect her.
"Stop zoning out." Saying that he swiftly stood up and offered her his hand. "The marble floor is cold. Get up already."
Ru took his hand. Unlike his fears, she really didn’t pull away. Instead, she walked by his side and even took a seat at the couch. Xiao Zhiren sat beside her and kept his eyes on her side profile.
Seeing her troubled eyes, he asked, "What’s bothering you?"
Ru turned a bit to face him and pointed straight at him without any hesitation as she said, "You."
Xiao Zhiren didn’t expect this answer at all. "I’m bothering you? How?" Ru bit the inside of her lips but stayed quiet. He took her hand in his own and patiently waited for her to speak.
"You’re testing me the way no one ever dared to do so before." Ru began with a firm tone. "You’re challenging my boundaries and beliefs. You’re trying to crumble the walls that took years to build. And most of all, you are making me lose myself." He knew she wasn’t done yet and that’s why he still waited. "I really can’t be what you expect me to be."
"And what do you think I expect you to become?" He retorted almost immediately.
"You want to change who I am."
Xiao Zhiren gave her a smile. "I wouldn’t dare do that. If there is one person in this world whom I don’t want to change than that’d be you. I like you, not the version what others want you to be. I fell for this version of yours. And I fell hard. You’re annoying at times, narcissistic at others. You’re insidious, ruthless, merciless, dark but aren’t I still sitting here? Why would I even wish for you to change?"
Ru was left flabbergasted as she gaped at him in disbelief. Was that a confession? She knew it was- if one ignored the insult. But with a dry cough, she decided to pretend like she didn’t get his real meaning at all.
"It’s good if you don’t want to change me. It wasn’t possible anyway." She replied offhandedly while turning to look outside the glass windows.
Xiao Zhiren understood her intention and didn’t continue this topic anymore. But he had a new curiosity now. "Hey! I think I didn’t see a bed in your apartment."
"Took you long enough to realize that, genius," Ru muttered under her breath.
"I heard that." Ru shrugged her shoulders in response. "But seriously, you really don’t have any beds?"
"Nope."
"Why not?" Before Ru could answer, he came up with his own ridiculous conclusion. "Don’t tell me you’re a... Vampire?" His voice turned into a whisper at the end as if it was the biggest secret or something.
"Seriously? Couldn’t you come up with something better?"
"Well, you love snowman blood. Who knows, maybe you actually like human blood as well." Xiao Zhiren was acting playfully unlike his nature.
"Until now, I was only interested in squeezing blood out of humans. But now, I think I should try drinking it. How about starting with you?"
Xiao Zhiren arched his neck towards her saying, "Go ahead. This artery gives better access to blood."
Ru didn’t know what to say or do. Really, this man was always testing her. Urgh! It’s really annoying! But why wasn’t she still kicking him out of the house as she did with his brother?
"You know what Zhi... Hold your life dearly. I might snatch it away." She spat out through gritted teeth.
With a cunning glint in his eyes, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" She shouted at him.
"You told me to hold my life dearly. That’s what I doing. I can’t let you snatch my life so easily now. Can I? How will I live without her?"
His reply yet again made Ru speechless. What was he doing with her? Was he playing with her? Because if he was only God knew how much Ru was going to suffer.