Side Seventeen – Mori Eri
I watched the fountains send jets of water high into the sky in ever more complex patterns, the illuminations of the LED lights making it a true spectacle to behold. The table we were sitting at had one of the best views out of the huge glass windows of the Bellagio, and beside me Aiko-chan was in rapt fascination with the display, despite us having watched it quite a few times now.
I nibbled away at the plates of finger-food and snacks that we had been provided with, free of charge, while I drank a variety of sparkling fruit juices. It really was the VIP treatment. To think we’ve earned all this thanks to Shaeula. She really has come into our lives like a storm… Everything had changed for us, and so quickly too. I was having a hard time processing it, but… it certainly isn’t all bad, no, not at all… I reflexively touched my lips, as I had many times over the past week. Feeling myself heating up, my face flushing, I bit down on a sigh. Even thinking about it makes my heart race. I wish I was more composed, like Shaeula. She’s so…
My thoughts had turned back to her again. A gnawing combination of envy and worry was poking at my heart, and it made me feel just awful. I hate the feeling of jealousy. It’s just the worst. Especially when she’s just so kind…
Not only had Shaeula told them the truth about the secrets Akio was keeping from them, she had offered her support in helping them step up to the same stage as him. But most importantly… despite clearly loving Akio herself, she had offered her full support to me, one of those that had given me the push I’d needed to do what I had put off for too long. She is… stronger and more generous than me. If our situations are reversed, I couldn’t do the same…
Ever since Akio had changed his mind and let Aiko-chan know he was coming back to Nishimorioka for a visit, my life had turned upside down. The grey murk of despair and loneliness had been blown away. First we started getting along better with some of the girls in our class, and then Akio was back, bringing Shaeula. I was scared of strangers, but in but a single day it was as if she had been our friend forever, and I found myself admiring her sheer boldness.
Ugh, having her for a rival is making me feel insecure. I know that Akio won’t forsake me, he loves me… but Shaeula is by his side in places I cannot yet go, and she doesn’t seem to care that she won’t be his one-and-only. She even encouraged Yae-san and Rika-san. Is it because of her father and his… his harem… or because she is not a human?
As I sat in silence, I realised Aiko-chan was looking at me, an amused expression on her face. Blushing again I lowered the fingers that were once more touching my lips.
“Seriously, Eri-chan.” Aiko-chan sighed as she took a sip of her own drink. “Thinking about big bro and Shaeula again? I can see why you’d feel a bit hopeless, considering she just won all that money and didn’t bat an eye about giving it all to him, but you need to have more faith in yourself. You confessed, my bro finally accepted you, and now your happy life is just beginning. I’m jealous, to be honest. At least you have a man in your life. There’s no-one worth it on my horizon.”
“I know, I know.” I complained, pouting. Aiko-chan was the only girl I could show my true emotions to… No, that isn’t true now is it, Shaeula is also easy to talk too, and I’ve laughed, cried and fought with her too… “But if you were in my shoes, wouldn’t you feel pretty bad? I mean, I’m not complaining, this last week has been just so perfect. Akio came back, we had fun, I confessed under the fireworks and I… I kissed Akio for the first time. And now this trip. I never dreamed we’d be able to go abroad, let alone to somewhere as amazing as Las Vegas. I have beautiful new clothes, he buys me gifts… it’s everything I ever dreamed of when I was younger, but had given up on when Akio moved away.”
“Yeah, it sure is amazing.” Aiko-chan agreed, stuffing her face with the snacks. “Just a week ago, who’d have thought we’d be doing this? So, if you are happy, what’s the problem? Just enjoy your new lovey-dovey life with big bro.”
“Yes, but…” I gathered my thoughts, reaching the heart of the problem. “… after this trip, we’ll go back home, but Shaeula and Akio… they’ll go back to Tokyo, living together, fighting together in a world we can’t see…” In his mind, I’ll grow faded and distant, while she will remain bright and shining, walking hand in hand with him. I guess it isn’t just jealousy, it’s fear too… I had almost given up on Akio, and while that hurt, once you reach acceptance it gets easier. But now… now I just don’t want to lose him again…
“Wow, I get it, I really do.” Aiko-chan sighed. “I’ve known you ever since we were born, and we are always together, It’s like I can read your mind. I guess that even finally getting my bro isn’t magically going to cure your chronic shyness or anxiety. Just think of it this way. Firstly, things have changed. You’ll be seeing a lot more of big bro than before, and we have money now, so you can even visit him in Tokyo during the holidays. But more importantly… Shaeula promised she would help us enter that ‘world we can’t see’ as you put it. I don’t know if I’m more scared or excited at the thought, but you and I agree on one thing. We’ll never let my brother sacrifice himself for us again. We’ll stand by him, no matter what it takes! You know I have a lot of the same insecurities as you do, and wow, it makes me feel so shitty, but that makes it so much more important that we do it, not just for my brother, the overly kind and naive fool that he is, but for ourselves too. You need to love yourself more Eri-chan. That’s all. If you love yourself, then big bro will love you more too.”
Love myself, huh? It’s that simple is it? I guess… I don’t like myself all that much. I thought that if I poured everything into loving Akio that would be all I needed, but…
“Love myself? I’ll try. Thanks for your advice Aiko-chan. I love you too.”
“Wow, so embarrassing. That must be the alcohol we had in the hotel talking.” Aiko-chan waved away my compliment. “Anyway, Shaeula should be here soon, it’s been two hours. I wonder what she was up to…”
I wonder too. So, as a first step… I’m going to ask her outright…
********
Shaeula was drinking some sort of strong spirit, sighing appreciatively, licking her lips. She’s so beautiful… I can see why in English such beauty is called fairy-like. She IS a fairy after all…
“So, how’d it go?” Aiko-chan asked. “You handle everything you needed to?”
“I have done my part-part.” Shaeula said, nodding. “I was late in my return as the owner of this place dragged me off for more photographs and another of these interviews. Still, I am now free of that nuisance. I shall drink as compensation!” she downed another gulp of her drink, the ice in the glass clinking rhythmically.
All right. I can do this. I need to take the first step… “Uh, Shaeula… can I ask… what are you and my brother really doing here? It’s got nothing to do with any sort of normal business has it? It’s… it’s to do with the other world, isn’t it?”
Shaeula seemed a little surprised I would ask her so directly, but she smiled broadly and replied. “You are quite correct, Eri. We came here simply to raise funds for our Territory. I am very lucky, as you now know. Akio too. And as we grow, so does the blessing of fortune that envelops us-us.”
I… see, I think. “So, you really came here to gamble? Is that what you’ve been doing?” I asked, and she nodded, cackling as she became more and more tipsy.
“Indeed-indeed. This Las Vegas is full of fools who believe they have more luck than us. It is simplicity itself for us to disprove their boasts. Even now, master is partaking of a ‘poker tournament’, I believe it is called.”
“I thought it had to be something like that.” It made sense. Shaeula won a jackpot with odds like a lottery, and Akio effortlessly won when we urged him to play. It feels a little unfair, but it isn’t technically cheating. I’m on Akio’s side. If he needs to do this I support him.
“So, wait… let me get this straight. All the money my bro has been lavishing on us has come from gambling? Oh wow, don’t let our dad find out, he’d just explode with anger. Only hard work should pay, that’s what he thinks.”
“Hard work should indeed pay.” Shaeula agreed. “But to reach this stage, we have indeed striven hard-hard. And last night I was rewarded.” Looking around the VIP restaurant to make sure no-one was looking, Shaeula opened her hand, palm face up. A glow of green shone and I could feel my hair waving in the sudden breeze. I’ve seen that trick before, but…
“It is hard-hard for me to manifest it here, but-but…” the green glow was then replaced by a shining yellow one, and small flames were suddenly dancing over her palm. “… there, success. I truly am a genius, even for royalty.”
“Wow, that’s cool and all…” Aiko-chan said. “But I don’t get why it’s anything different than before?”
“Well, I can not-not blame you, for you know little about the Boundary and the rules that govern it. Last night, master and I fought many battles against powerful foes, and discovered a source of elemental fire deep in the deserts-deserts. Master tamed it, making the power of fire his own. I too… at his urging-urging, I too attempted to master the flames. I expected it would be the end of me, my essence scattered and consumed by the energies so inimical to my winds-winds…”
I was horrified, unable to believe Akio would put her in such terrible danger. It must have shown on my face, too, as Shaeula spoke to us gently. Aiko-chan was the same, her eyes angry and face pale. “Do not-not criticise Akio, for he was unaware of the scale of the feat, and I chose not to burden him-him. I would gladly face my end, for I too have my guilt and my pride, as both a female and a proud Seelie princess.”
Well, obviously she survived, as she is here with us. But… she was prepared to die just at his word? Just… just how much does she care for Akio? Could I die for him…? I… I think I could, as a world without him is just empty and lifeless…
My thoughts were interrupted by Aiko-chan, who had honed in on something she said. “Guilt? Why would you be guilty? It’s stupid big bro moonstone who put you in danger…”
Finishing another glass of her spirits, Shaeula poured herself another from the bottle on the table. We really did get the VIP treatment. Again it’s thanks to her…
“When Akio and I first met-met, we were enemies. I was fresh in the land of my mother, with a few retainers and no treasures, trying to carve out a Territory of my own to prove my worth-worth. Alas, the politics of the Seelie Court are murky and treacherous, and those who would see me dead to humble my noble father sent their own forces to oppose me-me. I was trapped, at my wits’ end. My forces attempted to slay Akio, this interloper… and we were routed, and I was about to be killed by him. So I yielded. I thought pride was nothing in the face of death-death. I was so weak, I do not look back on myself favourably…”
Amazing. This is… fascinating. We had spent time with Shaeula, just us girls, talking about many things, but she had never revealed just how she met Akio, or the painful emotions involved. Aiko-chan was like me, listening intently, her emotions wild.
“I told you before, Aiko, Eri…” she continued, amber eyes glimmering brightly, perhaps with unshed tears, I fancied. “… I will never break my Oaths, for that is the way of the Fae. Our very-very souls are linked to our promises. But I am sly and cunning, and when I made my Oaths and exchanged Boons with Akio… I am ashamed to say I cheated him-him. Even as I surrendered, I thought on how to use him. Yet he did not complain, and over time… I realised that he truly cared for me, and would even suffer harm for me or even die-die, should it be needful. When I believed the Raven Knight had killed him-him, I realised then…” she shook her head, grabbing the bottle and taking several deep gulps directly from it. “… I vowed a replacement Oath and Boon for those I now regretted. I would truly commit to standing by his side until the end, and should my life be needed… well, you can guess the rest-rest.”
That’s… so beautiful, and also so sad… I never knew just how deep their bonds went… My face felt wet, and I reached up a hand, only to find I was crying. As soon as my hands felt the tears I burst into long sobs, my emotions fraught.
“Why do you cry, silly girl?” Shaeula asked, enfolding me in a tight hug. Aiko-chan was telling the other guests in the VIP restaurant that I was fine. “Do you feel that Akio perhaps loves you less, as if a person can only contain so much love to share between all-all? Such foolishness. I have spent scant time with Akio compared to you and Aiko, though it has been the most intense period of my life-life, and yet I know this, Akio loves you both very deeply indeed. Perhaps you misunderstand because he moved away-away, thinking he had forgotten you. He is but a male, and males can be foolish indeed. He thought of you as a younger sister, but you are neither a sister, nor a child, and it took your courage to help him realise this truth. Be proud that you achieved this-this.”
She was rubbing my back gently, and as my tears slowed Aiko returned. “Wow, now I’m all embarrassed, we are in such an expensive place and causing a scene. I’m mortified. but at least you are expressing your emotions honestly again Eri-chan. You bottle things up too much. Shaeula is right. I love my big bro, I love you… and though we have only known each other a little while, I’m pretty sure I love you too Shaeula. You are just so charming, and clearly into my idiot of a brother, so I feel very close to you.”
Turning to Shaeula, she bowed her head, nearly completely folded over. What are you doing Aiko-chan?
“Shaeula, please. Can you teach us more, or faster, about how to join you in this other world? I know big bro doesn’t want us involved, he worries, but I know you are on our side! I don’t want us to start drifting apart again. Eri-chan, Akio and I, we were all idiots, all wrapped up thinking our own wrong things, not talking to each other about what we really wanted. If it wasn’t for this mysterious world and you coming into his life, starting a change… I think that it would have been over. Sure, we might have seen big bro once or twice a year, and at weddings and funerals, family events like that… but the closeness we had in the past, where the three of us were inseparable, when every day was bright and full of joy… that would have been gone forever. And I don’t know about you, Eri-chan, but I am not going to let that happen again. We have been given a second chance, and now I want to do whatever I can do to cling onto it. We can finally repay my brother for all the love he gave to us, all he's done for us.” She smiled then, mock-maliciously. “But of course, we also have to punish him for being such a massive moonstone-class dumbass! I get that he thought as we grew older we needed to make friends our own age and that we needed to reduce our dependence on him, but even so… ugh, I’m getting so mad now! When he stopped calling or even emailing you Eri-chan, I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but I knew it’d just upset you further. It’s like Shaeula said, it isn’t like if he stayed in contact with us it would somehow use up our ability to make friends…”
Seeing Aiko-chan so resolute, I made up my own mind. Disentangling myself from Shaeula’s embrace, I wiped my last tears and bowed to her as well. “I’m asking as well. Please help us. You… you may not want to, as I am your rival for Akio, but… it is just like with the dog, that day… Akio is fighting, no matter how he bleeds and cries. I promised myself I wouldn’t let it happen again. But again, I’m too weak and cowardly. But I can’t stay that way. Please guide us, and if you do, I promise I’ll never forget what you’ve done for us!” If I … if we don’t walk this path, we can walk with Akio.
“A rival? I do not see you as my rival-rival, for I have great respect for your deep love for Akio. We each have our own gifts to offer him, and we each seek him in our own way-way. When you finally understand what you can offer and what you seek in return, I feel your insecurities will burn away like fog under the bright sun-sun.”
What I seek… I know what I seek. But what can I offer Akio? I can offer him my love, but is that really enough? Shaeula loves him, and Aiko-chan too. Shaeula can give him wealth and fight at his side, but I… I promised to return twice what I received, and I meant it, I still do, but…
“As for teaching you… I intend to do just that. Akio is against it, but his stance is wavering, for he indeed knows that it is better you both have the power to protect yourselves. It is like these video games you have here-here, it is better to be ‘well-levelled’ than not, and early is better than late-late.” Her eyes glowed amber as she took another gulp of the similar-coloured liquid in her glass. “I can see you have both been partaking in the exercises I instructed you in. Very good, I expected no less-less. Still, we have much work to do. Luckily I have gained in knowledge, and can now guide you skilfully. Sit, sit, both of you, and we shall practice until Akio returns triumphant.”
I may not be able to beat Shaeula, but if I can at least stand on the same stage as her… I’m sorry, I feel really happy when you say I’m not your rival, but to me… Akio is mine, and I’ll not give him to you!
********
The hour was growing late, and most of the tables in the VIP restaurant were full now. We attracted a lot of curious looks, being very out of place here, and being cute girls at that, but as promised the staff made sure no-one bothered us, giving us true VIP service. My mother and father will be very jealous. We don’t have the money to eat out, and here I am living like a queen. I’ll have to use some of the money Akio is giving me to treat them… oh wait, I need to concentrate…
Closing my eyes for a moment I continued to visualise drawing energies through my lower body and up through it in order, from the base of my spine, through my lower body, to the solar plexus, then up to the heart, the throat, my forehead and eventually the crown of my head. I was feeling tingly, almost as if I had pins and needles throughout my whole body. Aiko-chan was doing the same, her facial expression rather funny, but she had it easier than me, as she practised visualisation during her kyudo. Still, if I can’t make it through talent, I’ll just work harder. I can work as hard as I need to!
Shaeula occasionally touched us, poking and prodding at various points on our backs, muttering to herself. I had nearly jumped out of my seat when she slid her small hand down the back of my dress, caressing my spine, but then I felt a warm glow spread through me, down to my heart and up to my throat. She had looked at me, her eyes seeming as bright as the full moon over the mountains of our hometown, and had said something I could barely understand. “…can use my Aetheric Chirurgeon to create pathways to the lunar chakra, but without a constant flow they will decay. Master was right-right, humans don’t have a lunar chakra, yet without it their networks will not achieve their full potential…”
She had looked at me so intently I blushed, squirming under her gaze. She then shook her head and moved to Aiko, also touching her bare back, muttering about “… not forcing a lunar chakra like with master. If Eri or Aiko was injured I would have no right to stand before him…”
Anyway, I just have to keep doing the exercises, as often as I can, whenever I can. I have faith in Shaeula that it must be achieving something. And at least we have a distraction…
There was a comedian performing in the VIP lounge, quite a famous one, even I recognised her name. She was talking about the difference between men and women, and making jokes about what each gender was seeking. Her accent is a bit puzzling, but luckily my English is really good. I grew up learning it with Aiko-chan, and I’m glad I did. It makes English classes at school so effortless, and I’ve had no problems on this trip at all.
Aiko-chan was still devouring the free food. Her appetite surely was something amazing. I wonder how she stays in shape considering what she eats. Is it doing sport that helps? I was merely occasionally taking a drink as I concentrated, half-listening to the comedian talk.
“Women are complicated creatures, unlike men. We want all sorts of things. Nice clothes, good food, to look beautiful, to be respected by our peers… it’s really hard being a woman. Being a man on the other hand, that’s really easy! Most men are perfectly happy to wear old t-shirts and scuffed jeans, are happy to just grab takeout instead of cooking, don’t even shave half the time, looking like some homeless bum, and as for respect of their peers…. Ugh, us women shouldn’t try and understand the way men bond with each other, unless of course we are talking what the Asians like to call ‘boys love’. That’s kind of hot… but only in 2d. In fact, most men are better left in 2d… if the world was full of only women, oh what a paradise it would be…”
I let out a little giggle in spite of myself. Akio did always dress lazily in the past, and not take proper care of himself. Though now… he dresses so well, and looks so much more handsome than I remember… The thought of Akio in his suit was filling me with a different sort of warmth than my visualisation exercises.
“… so, what do guys really want? They are simple creatures, unlike women, who have evolved to be better, men are still stuck in the past. A modern man isn’t so different to being a caveman. It’s all primal. Women are smart, wanting to improve themselves and their environment, while men… men just want their urges satisfying. They should stay in 2d! down with all men, I say! I can see you men in the audience grimacing, but you girls agree with me, don’t you?” she began to talk to the audience, going back and forth. A lot of the banter was amusing, but when she turned to us…
“And just look at the table over there. You three cuties don’t have a man with you, so you get what I’m saying, don’t you? I bet you get hit on by men aiming to fulfil their urges with you all the time, don’t you?”
“Sure we do. We are all gorgeous.” Aiko-chan shouted back. “I had some jerk even challenge my brother to a bet for a date with me last week. I’m not a thing, I’m my own woman.” Aiko-chan crossed her arms under her chest in annoyance. Then her face lit up, her bright grin drawing attention from all the men in the room. “Still, my big bro sure did put that loser in his place. He crushed him ruthlessly. So while I agree men are trash, my big bro stands alone.”
“Well, I’ve not met your brother, so I’ll take your word for it, but you lead me on to what men really want. Thanks for that, you’ve been a great sport, hope you enjoy the rest of your night, lovely girls. Anyway, like I said, it’s all primal. This girl’s brother was showing the caveman urge to protect what is his. Since he sees his sister as someone to be protected, especially from a rival male who might take her, it’s all ‘time to club him down like he’s a tiger straying into my cave.’. And then…”
“I don’t like the way she’s talking about my big bro..” Aiko-chan complained. Shaeula merely laughed, lounging back on her chair, her bottle almost empty. She was flushed and reeking of alcohol. If she was a human girl of that size, she might be unconscious already…
“She doesn’t know Akio.” I defended him, agreeing with Aiko-chan. “If Akio was here the way he was earlier, she’d be charmed by him, I’m sure!”
“Ever the loyal girlfriend.” Aiko-chan giggled.
“… so it basically boils down to a full stomach, lots of sleep and sex. As long as those three needs can be met your average guy won’t even care about anything else.” The comedian continued, to laughter and cheers from the women and boos from some of the men. “and if those needs are threatened, they get all ‘me caveman, me crush you, you no take my woman!’”
Really? Well Akio is extremely protective of Aiko-chan and I… he always has been. Does he… does he want those things too? Food, sleep and… sex? I’m not very good at cooking, but I could learn… but, just maybe…
I felt a shiver go through me, my body hot, like needles of fire deep inside. My legs squirmed and I pictured myself… no, I can’t even think about it, my face is on fire. But… I do want to find out what I can give to Akio…
Trying to clear my head I shut out the surrounding noise and concentrated on my visualisation exercises. But it was a struggle, vivid images creeping back into my head whenever my concentration slipped. Just… just what do I do…? I didn’t even notice I was touching my lips again, fingers stroking them softly…