Chapter 49 - One’s Own Life
“I’m back.” When Lin Qian opened the door, he saw Lin YaZhi jump out of the dining room chair and frantically fan his hands towards the window. Lin YaZhi nervously laughed as he continued to fan: “Ah Qian, you’re back a little later than usual.”
The air was filled with the strong stench of cigarettes. Lin Qian’s eyes moved from Lin YaZhi’s hands down to the filled ashtray on the dining table.
Lin Qian gave his father a look. “Smoking behind my back again?”
Lin YaZhi hurriedly picked up the ashtray and emptied it on a nearby trashcan. After a moment, Lin YaZhi directly threw the ashtray into the trash can too.
With a guilty conscience, Lin YaZhi timidly explained: “I only had two.”
“Really?” Lin Qian looked at him imposingly.
At his penetrating gaze, Lin YaZhi had no choice but to take a step back. “...five.”
Lin Qian didn’t make a sound this time. He simply kept eye-contact with Lin YaZhi, and it wasn’t long before Lin YaZhi broke down and confessed: “One pack....”
Seeing that Lin Qian still didn’t trust his words, Lin YaZhi rubbed a hand over his face. “I only have one pack, honest. I bought it in the convenience store downstairs. I would never secretly buy more.”
Lin Qian helplessly shook his head. He put down his schoolbag and said: “Don’t smoke, it’s bad for your health.”
He had seen Lin YaZhi suffer so much in his last life. His bad smoking habits contributed a lot to his exhaustion, so in this life, Lin Qian didn’t want to see him smoke.
Truthfully, ever since their father-son relationship eased, the number of cigarettes Lin YaZhi smoked reduced significantly. It was just that he had been upset this past couple of days, so it was inevitable that Lin YaZhi returned to his smoking habits.
“Alright.” Lin YaZhi didn’t dare contradict his son’s words. Instead, he asked: “Do you want to eat something?”
Lin Qian: !!!!! A Level 1 warning alert has been triggered!
Lin YaZhi saw his son’s wide eyes and quickly explained: “I bought it outside, I didn’t cook it myself.”
Lin Qian quietly breathed a sigh of relief and showed a filial smile. “Alright.”
Lin YaZhi: “.....” I’m a little heartbroken.
Lin YaZhi brought out some hot congee and a few small dishes out of the kitchen and said: “It’s better to eat light at night.”
Lin Qian didn’t mind. The father-son pair sat down on the dining table, across from each other. Lin Qian poured some congee for Lin YaZhi, poured one for himself, then silently began to eat.
Lin YaZhi didn’t have much of an appetite. He stirred his congee for a long time, but he hadn’t taken a single bite.
Lin Qian looked up and said: “Do you have anything you want to ask?”
Lin YaZhi couldn’t explain what he was feeling. After he entered his final year of high school, his son was suddenly willing to communicate with him. He was totally different from before. Back then, Lin Qian had always hidden his thoughts and feelings from his father and barely even looked at him. But nowadays, Lin Qian’s gestures and actions felt mature, and not of a teenager. Sometimes, Lin YaZhi even felt that his son was more reliable than him.
After thinking about it, Lin YaZhi finally asked: “I heard from the Principal that you don’t want the guaranteed spot?”
Lin Qian hummed in agreement.
Lin YaZhi put down his spoon and firmly asked: “Are you afraid of Huo PingChuan retaliating? You don’t need to worry about such things, I’m here...”
“No, I just don’t want the recommendation.” Lin Qian interrupted.
At Lin YaZhi’s conflicted expression, Lin Qian put down his spoon. He slowly but calmly said: “I’m not afraid of Huo PingChuan, and I don’t want you to get into a conflict in school for this.”
Lin YaZhi froze: “Then why do you want to give up...”
For love, of course!
Lin Qian sighed in his heart. He couldn’t tell him the truth, so Lin Qian could only say in a roundabout sort of way: “I just don’t think that I have to go to F University.”
Lin YaZhi didn’t expect such a reason. Stunned, he asked: “Then which university do you want to go to?”
Lin Qian: “&#k2026;.” Dad, can you stop asking? I haven’t sorted out my excuses yet.
Seeing Lin Qian remain silent, Lin YaZhi became conscious of their newly formed bond and decided not to pursue the matter. Instead, Lin YaZhi looked at his son in the eye and said: “I’ll support you, no matter what university you want to go to.”
Lin Qian couldn’t help but chuckle. He never realized that Lin YaZhi would be so accommodating towards him.
Lin Qian’s soon finished his congee. He poured himself another bowl and asked: “You smoked a whole pack of cigarettes for this?”
Lin YaZhi declined when his son offered him some smoked bean curd. After a moment’s silence, Lin YaZhi shook his head in frustration: “I just feel so useless.”
Lin Qian froze. “Why do you say that?’
Lin YaZhi’s voice was colored with remorse when he replied: “Huo PingChuan almost stole your recommendation, and I couldn’t do anything about it. If the matter hadn’t been exposed in Weibo, things would’ve ended badly.”
Lin YaZhi had tried his best to contribute, but in the end, he didn’t play much of a role.
In the USB stick Ke MuZi had given him, there was an email copied from Huo PingChuan’s mailbox. In it was the report Lin YaZhi had sent to the Education Bureau about Huo PingChuan’s misdeeds.
But even so, in Lin Qian’s eyes, Lin YaZhi was by no means a useless father.
Lin Qian smiled at Lin YaZhi and said: “But didn’t you hit him? It was awesome.”
“That was just reckless behavior.” Lin YaZhi replied with a heavy look in his eyes. “When I quit my previous job and went to No.12, it was to protect and take care of you and your sister. If my only solution to such things is to beat people up, then what qualifications do I have to call myself your backer?”
In his previous life, Lin Qian and Lin YaZhi never got the chance to talk face to face. So Lin Qian never realized that his father was thought like this when he gave up his previous career.
“Dad.” Lin Qian looked at his father and earnestly said: “As long as you’re on our side, we already have a great backer. You don’t need to do anything else.”
Lin YaZhi was a little moved. He placed a trembling hand on the table and slowly said: “No, I can’t just let things go. I’m going to confront Huo PingChuan again on Monday and punch him a few more times.”
Lin Qian sipped his congee and said: “There will always be a chance to beat him up, you don’t have to be in such a hurry.”
Lin YaZhi rotated his wrist. “I’ll punch him on Monday, then beat him up again later.”
Lin Qian shook his head in exasperation. He finished his congee, pushed his bowl to one side, then seriously told Lin YaZhi: “Dad, how about you just go back to your previous job?”
Lin YaZhi was stunned for a moment. Without much thought, he refused: “No, I finally managed to do well in this job, I don’t want to just resign...”
Lin YaZhi figured that Lin Qian was worried about Huo PingChuan’s business and tried to assure his son: “You don’t have to worry. Huo PingChuan can’t move me.”
Lin Qian was confused: “Why are you always mentioning Huo PingChuan? What kind of being is he that he can influence our decisions?”
Now Lin YaZhi was confused. “Then why suddenly mention...”
“You don’t like teaching, right?” Lin Qian replied.
Lin YaZhi: “...!”
As a cold teacher who scared students regularly, Lin YaZhi felt somewhat guilty. “It’s not like that....”
“But there’s another job you’d prefer doing.” Lin Qian interrupted. “Dad, your life is still very long. There’s no need for you to give the rest of your life to my sister and me.”
What he didn’t say was that when he and Shao SiJia needed their father the most, he had been absent. It was only now, when they’ve long grown up that the siblings didn’t need a father figure.
Lin Qian had once shouted these words to Lin YaZhi in his last life. At the time, Lin Qian was angry and resentful. But now, as an adult, Lin Qian was able to be more considerate towards his father and not say such hurtful things.
Lin Qian had been too young back then. He didn’t understand the complexity of the adult world and the helplessness they experienced. He had only seen Lin YaZhi as a horrible father who was largely absent during their childhood and who had left their mother to do all the hard work. Lin Qian didn’t understand that his mother never once complained because she understood the situation and Lin YaZhi.
Lin YaZhi didn’t agree with Lin Qian. “No, I want to stay with you two.”
Lin Qian laughed. “If you really want to stay with us, then you shouldn’t be a teacher in No.12.”
Lin YaZhi gave it some thought.
“Think about it. Shao SiJia has already gone to university and will only be back twice a year during the winter and summer...” Lin Qian explained.
And honestly, because of her strained relationship with Lin YaZhi, she doesn’t even come home during the winter and summer holidays sometimes.
Lin Qian continued to patiently and systematically guide Lin YaZhi: “I’ll also be going to university next year. With my grades, even if I don’t get into F University, I probably won’t stay in this city. So then, both Shao SiJia and I will be out of town. We can only visit two months a year, leaving you in an empty nest, doing a job you’re not passionate about...”
Lin Qian painted a genuinely bleak picture for Lin YaZhi. Lin Qian shook his head and said: “It’s too miserable. You can’t even cook! Seriously think about it. You, a middle-aged man, coming home from work, unable to eat a hot meal...you can only smoke in an empty room...”
With Lin Qian’s descriptions, Lin YaZhi’s expression became more and more frightened. In the end, Lin Qian gave him a decisive summary: “If I were you, I’d definitely have a midlife crisis.”
Lin YaZhi could almost see the empty nest life his son had described to him. Next year his son will be gone...coupled with his job...
He felt like he really was in the middle of a midlife crisis.
Lin YaZhi’s resolve had been shaken, but he was still tangled. “I was much too busy with my previous job. It’s also quite fast-paced, so if I go back to that job, I might not see you kids all year round.”
It was precisely because of this kind of ever-changing environment that he was unable to immediately rush back to take care of Lin Qian and Shao SiJia after his wife died unexpectedly. He had to wait a few years before he could quit. By then, the brother and sister pair already resented him.
Lin Qian cruelly popped his fantasy. “Even if you stay in No. 12 and continue to be a teacher, you wouldn’t be able to see us any more than if you didn’t stay.”
Lin YaZhi: “....”
Lin Qian continued: “And when Shao SiJia and I start working, there’ll be even less time to go home...”
Lin YaZhi: ......
Lin Qian saw the hesitation in his eyes and said: “Properly think about it. If you go back to your old job, you can at least be doing something you like. So even if your children aren’t around anymore...”
Lin YaZhi took a deep breath. “Let me think about it.”
“Alright.” Lin Qian stood up. “I’m going to go to bed. Don’t forget to wash the dishes.”
Lin YaZhi nodded. “Un.”
Just as Lin Qian left the room, Lin YaZhi snapped out of his daze and hurriedly stopped him. “Ah Qian, wait a minute.”
Lin Qian turned back. “Yes?”
Lin YaZhi fidgeted around a few times, then awkwardly leaned on the wall. He cautiously said: “Your step-mother ShiYi applied for a few days leave next month to go home...”
Lin Qian had long prepared himself for this. He raised a brow and indifferently asked: “Oh? So she’s going to come by?”
Lin YaZhi was surprised by his calm reaction. He thought Lin Qian would make a huge fuss about it. Lin YaZhi was even prepared for Lin Qian to run away from home. How is he so calm?
Lin YaZhi found the situation a little unbelievable, but he didn’t dare ask more questions in fear that his son would suddenly change his mind. Taking advantage of Lin Qian’s tranquil mood, Lin YaZhi said: “And...that...your step-mother has a son who’s the same age as you. Apparently, he’s living alone here in Rong City, so she wanted you two to get to know each other....”
After he said this, Lin YaZhi closed his eyes, waiting for his son to explode.
But then he heard Lin Qian chuckle. Lin YaZhi blankly opened his eyes, only to see Lin Qian waving a hand at him. “Alright. Let them come visit together.”
Then Lin Qian closed the door. Lin YaZhi couldn’t believe what he had just heard. It was only after an hour of standing around that he remembered to send a text to Chen ShiYi: I think our family is about to usher in great harmony.
Meanwhile, Lin Qian also began texting Zheng PingQing, telling him about his conversation with Lin Yazhi.
Zheng PingQing’s reply was: That’s good. Let your dad put his heart and soul into rebuilding the country. That way, he won’t have the energy to deal with his son’s matters and who he’s having sex with.
Lin Qian:...
Lin Qian just thought that Lin YaZhi’s sacrifice in his last life wasn’t worth it. But his boyfriend obviously wanted to kill two birds with one stone.
But well, Lin Qian had to admit, Zheng PingQing wasn’t totally wrong.
Lin Qian: He also said that Chen ShiYi wanted to introduce you to me.
Zheng PingQing: Tsk, she did hint at this recently. What did you say?
Lin Qian: That I want her to wrap you up nicely and bring you to the door.
Zheng PingQing: You little rascal.jpg
Lin Qian: That image just gave me intense pain.
Zheng PingQing: Thinking about things, isn’t this ‘formally meeting the parents’?
Lin Qian: Isn’t this a little more personal than that?
Zheng PingQing: Not really. It’s not like I’m coming to go and get married into your family.
Lin Qian: But still, it’s Chen ShiYi who’s bringing you to my home. Doesn’t that mean our family about to transition into a more harmonious time?
Zheng PingQing: I don’t care whether your family is harmonious or not.
Zheng PingQing: I’m more concerned about when we can usher in the great harmony of a new life.
Lin Qian: ....I’m forwarding your dirty messages to your uncle. Let him condemn you!
Xu Yao: ???? I don’t want to see it!
In case people forgot, Lin Qian’s sister is the one that totally owned Dong MingEn in that computer game using Xu Yao’s account.