The grand prize, of all things.
It wasn’t just any award; it was the grand prize.
Thoughts of maintaining composure or how to express my feelings were blown away.
They were replaced by a dazed feeling and tears.
“…!”
I’ve rarely cried in public, but tears kept streaming down my face, unbidden.
“Hmm, let’s go.”
I sniffled, trying to stop the tears, and dabbed them with the back of my hand.
My siblings nodded with choked-up faces. Bijoo’s eyes were already red like a rabbit’s, and our youngest’s nose was bright red like Rudolph’s.
“Thank you.”I bowed to TNT and Teen Spirit clapping beside me, and to Cha Woo-hyun and Scarlet clapping from behind.
“Phew…”
A long sigh escaped me.
The walk to the center stage, where Teacher Baek Sang-gyo and model Han Sora waited with the trophy, felt endlessly long.
Perhaps it felt this way because I’ve been waiting for this award since I decided to become a singer.
Everything felt unreal.
The cheers from the audience, the applause from the singers’ seats, and the brightly lit award ceremony.
“Congratulations.”
“…Thank you, sir.”
The middle-aged trot singer patted my shoulder with a warm smile, encouragingly.
And then.
The trophy smoothly settled into my hands.
Unlike the glass Composer Award, this was a gold cup-shaped metal trophy.
The cold touch brought a sense of reality, which vanished again at the sight of the inscription ‘Grand Prize: Song of the Year – New Black.’
Handing the trophy to my siblings, similar reactions followed.
Rihyuk bit his lip, holding back tears before finally bowing his head deeply.
“Waaaah-!”
A cheer so loud it tingled through my body erupted again.
Standing at the microphone, my mind went blank.
The wave of fans filling the giant gymnastics stadium finally came into view.
-Uh…
How should I start?
I wasn’t unprepared for the grand prize speech.
The A&R and management teams had told us to prepare, considering the possibility of winning.
We had lowered our expectations, despite being likely candidates for the annual number one ‘Wind Flower.’
But still…
“Let’s not get our hopes up too high.”
Rihyuk’s realistic words came to mind.
“It’s the grand prize, after all.”
Doubts about winning the award in our second year overshadowed our expectations.
There was no precedent.
Of course, many idol singers had won the Rookie Award their first year and the grand prize the next.
Sixty Seconds did, and even TNT won ‘Singer of the Year’ in their second year. The girl group Daylight also won the grand prize in their second year.
But those were all newcomers from the top four agencies.
“Can we really win the grand prize?”
I had unconsciously drawn a line, thinking it impossible.
To avoid disappointment if our hopes were dashed. To not end up just drinking the celebratory soup without the actual celebration.
Was that why I had steeled my heart?
Tears kept falling drop by drop, like dew forming.
-Really… thank you.
My voice was hoarse with emotion, and cheers returned.
I looked up, trying to hold back tears.
Speaking seemed like it would help, but instead, my vision blurred even more.
-I have too many tears right now, so I’ll pass it to the members…
I turned to say I’d give them a chance to speak.
“Uh-huh!”
“Sob!”
“Ahhhh…”
The sight of my siblings clutching the trophy, sobbing or wailing, caught my eye.
Why did it feel like my tears were receding?
Blinking for a moment, I turned my gaze back to the camera and the audience.
-I’ll continue…
It wasn’t meant to be funny, but laughter erupted from the audience and the singers’ seats.
Perhaps the real-time sight of my siblings crying cleared my head.
Like a little kid who stops crying when another child cries louder, thinking, ‘What’s that?’
-Thank you so much for this great award.
Truly.
-When we heard we were nominated, we really wondered if we could win.
-I, I didn’t expect to win. Sob…!
The youngest, with swollen eyes, added a comment, and laughter flowed again.
-First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who helped create New Black’s ‘Wind Flower.’ Our CEO Park Gyu-ho.
-Director Jo Gyuhwan, the A&R team…
Junghyun rapped the list of grateful names with moist eyes, eliciting more laughter.
-I had so much to say about the song, but if I had known, I would have saved my words when I won the Composer Award earlier.
Apparently, having expressed all my gratitude for the song when I won the Composer Award made it awkward to repeat now.
I didn’t know I’d win the grand prize then.
-It’s been a dream since my trainee days to win such an award, and it feels like I’m dreaming now.
From a distance, the TNT members raised their hands and sparkled like stars.
I smiled.
-There are so many people to thank. Most of all, my siblings, who have worked so hard.
Sobs echoed through the air.
My siblings rubbed their eyes and nodded in agreement.
Rihyuk’s face turned red as he cupped it with both hands, nodding vigorously, which made me laugh again.
Our kids were crying pitifully, but they must have looked adorable from the audience’s perspective.
I looked out over the crowd.
“Our Soufflé!”
A cheer of ‘Wow!’ responded to my call.
“This award is because of you. At every crucial moment, you created opportunities for us. I believe we received this award thanks to you.”
An artist’s award isn’t something one can achieve alone.
No matter how hard an artist works, without a path, there’s nowhere to go. And that path is often paved by the fans.
“I consider the Song of the Year award as something we’ve won together. I’m grateful, so very grateful, and I love… Oh, my!”
The loudest cheer yet filled the gymnastics stadium, making me flinch unexpectedly.
“Love.”
“Ah!”
“I love… you, yes.”
With that, I threw out my closing remarks.
“I won’t forget today and will strive to be a more diligent New Black. Now, a word from each of our members…”
Stepping back and gesturing with my eyes, the younger ones stepped forward.
Bijoo spoke with a quivering voice.
“Mom, Dad, Sister, and Minjun. Thank you all so much. You’ve worried about me since my trainee days… and now I’ve won this grand award.”
Bijoo smiled brightly, showing off the trophy.
And then there was Junghyun.
“Dad! I won an award!”
His rustic tone brought laughter, and behind them, I felt a sense of urgency.
I had messed up.
Caught up in the excitement of the award, I had forgotten to thank the most important person.
They must be cursing up a storm watching this on TV right now.
“To my family in America…”
Even Rihyuk began to express his gratitude to his family, making my heart race.
It was a different kind of pounding from when I won the award.
It was like the terror I felt when I had mistakenly washed and lost the clothes treasured by our dear Mrs. Kim Deoksoon.
“Mom, I love you! And Dad too!”
When Jiho finished his speech, I hurried to the microphone.
“I, too…”
My words came out stuttered.
“Grandma! I won an award! I truly love you and am so thankful you gave birth to me!”
Han Sora chuckled and bowed her head next to me.
Why did she do that?
Laughter erupted from the once-still audience. Junghyun and the siblings tilted their heads in confusion.
“Ah.”
I quickly waved my hands and added,
“Thank you for raising me!”
Applause poured out, but my mind was in turmoil.
Oh no. I had blown it.
Gunsan City.
“Phew.”
Mrs. Kim Deoksoon watched the Mango Chart Awards ceremony on TV with a warm smile.
She then playfully patted the rump of the cheese cat rolling beside her.
“When did your brother ever complain? Right, Nabi?”
Meow.
The cat curled up and then flopped over to expose its belly.
“Every day brings a new complaint…”
Mrs. Kim Deoksoon smiled as she watched the tear-streaked faces on TV.
‘They’ve worked hard.’
She thought of New Black, who had been rolling around for the past two years.
And the eight years her grandson had sent before that.
As she saw them still comforting and patting each other on TV, her heart felt tender.
She wanted to go and hug them warmly every time she saw their shoulders shake.
“Oh dear…”
She felt proud of her well-grown grandson, yet it was frustrating not to be able to do something special for him.
As a parent, she wasn’t alone in this feeling; her phone’s chat notifications were flashing non-stop.
Bijoo’s Mom: [My sonㅠㅠㅠ
Bijoo’s Mom: [So happy!!]
Jiho’s Dad, Chairman Wang Hyun-taek: [Our beloved ‘Dad’]
Jiho’s Dad, Chairman Wang Hyun-taek: [Did you see our son’s “Dad is number one”?]
Junghyun’s Father: [Please send me the address]
Junghyun’s Father: [Today is a happy day, I’ll send you 10 boxes of sweet potatoes]
Seo Ye-in: [Does this work for the US too?]
The family members were all jumping with joy.
“They’ve already changed their profiles.”
Each had captured their son live on TV and set it as their profile picture.
“I’ve already changed mine.”
Mrs. Kim Deoksoon was satisfied with the profile picture she had changed with her grandson’s help in the evening.
It was a photo of her posing with a V in front of a foreign car.
Meanwhile.
“Maybe I can watch some dramas now.”
She had watched for nearly three hours because her grandson told her to, but it was so boring she was sick of it.
When she flipped through the channels with the remote.
“This is speed.”
On channel 7, her grandson appeared, walking like a model in a telecom commercial.
She switched again.
“Come to Olive House!”
On channel 11, her grandson appeared again, this time as a part-time worker at a family restaurant.
She narrowed her eyes, her lips forming a straight line.
“You guys are like a swarm of locusts, not missing a single spot…”
Every time I turned on the TV, there he was, my grandson, saying, “Look at me, Deok-sun.” I wondered if the rumors of his sudden fame were true.
After we returned to our seats, the award ceremony continued. At this music awards show, the grand prizes were typically given in three categories: Song of the Year, Album of the Year, and Artist of the Year. ṙ
“And now, for the Album of the Year…”
From that moment, the atmosphere in the audience began to shift subtly. All eyes were on two groups: TNT and Teen Spirit. Their achievements this year must have been neck and neck.
TNT’s fandom was slowly dwindling, while Teen Spirit had surged ahead this year. It was as if the two groups were at a crossroads, hovering right above us.
Every time the nominees were announced, I could see both groups nervously swallowing and rubbing their hands together. Last year, TNT had swept both Album and Artist of the Year.
“And the winner is… Teen Spirit! Congratulations!”
The Album of the Year went to Teen Spirit. As their refreshing title track played, the members of Teen Spirit looked at each other in disbelief, just like us, and then walked to the stage in tears. It seemed they were overwhelmed with emotion from receiving their first grand prize.
“Ahaha… Thank you so much!”
While Teen Spirit thanked the staff of MOP Entertainment, their fans erupted in cheers.
The audience buzzed with a strange mixture of murmurs and silence. We were indifferent, but it felt like TNT’s fans were not pleased with the outcome. A tense air hung about.
I didn’t quite understand the context, but I had a feeling the internet would be ablaze with reactions after this.
“And next, the Artist of the Year, shining bright throughout the year…”
Fortunately, the tension eased a bit when the winner was announced.
“Congratulations! TNT!”
For the second year in a row, TNT won Artist of the Year. Last year they were in tears, but this year they accepted the award with calm gratitude. We clapped and smiled in support as they expressed their thanks.
“Thank you!”
And so, the first award ceremony of 2015 came to a close.
As we exited the stadium and entered the backstage corridor, congratulations came from all sides.
“Congrats on the grand prize, bro!”
“Congratulations!”
We danced a dance of thanks with Scarlet, who had performed a congratulatory dance for us.
We took cautious selfies with Enoti, who asked if it was okay to do so.
“Hey! Can you take a proof shot for me?”
“Huh?”
“Hurry! Quick!”
As Gil Chaekyung from Girls on Top passed by, our youngest member annoyingly held up the grand prize trophy, boasting, “Hmm, I’m cool.”
“Man, that’s really petty.”
“She was even worse when they got first place at school. I’ve been sharpening my knife since then.”
“What a provocation.”
I nodded as I watched the girl group member stomp away.
“She’s got a bite.”
I smirked bitterly.
“Yo, yo, yo!”
“Grand Prize Man!”
TNT, holding the ‘Artist of the Year’ trophy, approached us cheerfully.
We didn’t have time for long greetings, but we exchanged short hugs and greetings with the other members.
Taehyun said, “Congratulations, Woojoo hyung.”
“You guys too, really. It’s great we’re both doing well… Why are you tearing up?”
“…It’
He wiped away tears and said, “I practically raised them.”
“If you’re going to talk nonsense, pray quietly into a pillow.”
Taehyun clasped his hands together.
“Sunwooju, I raised them…”
“I helped raise them too…”
“I think I contributed a bit too…”
I burst into laughter at the sight of the younger members whispering with their hands together.
As the TNT members said their goodbyes and left, a figure with mint-colored hair, looking somewhat shy, approached us.
He had a kind face.
Baek Seungje, one of TNT’s main dancers, extended his hand with a smile.
“Congratulations, truly.”
“Thanks.”
I shook his hand, returning a slightly awkward smile, and said, “That hand movement in today’s Windflower intro…”
“?”
“It reminded me of something I learned from you back when we were trainees. It made practice easier, thanks to you.”
“…”
“Thank you.”
I spoke with gratitude, implying there was no need to feel sorry about the debut group’s issues, and he nodded with a smile.
We promised to grab a meal together sometime and parted ways.
“Uhuhuhuk!”
“Congra…”
“Uhuhuhuhuk!”
We couldn’t properly congratulate Teen Spirit as they sobbed among themselves and scurried away.
In the meantime, I briefly checked the flood of messages on my phone.
There were messages from Eunsung and a chain of congratulatory messages from the members of Street Boys.
“Hey! Number one group!”
“Where’s the trophy? The trophy!”
The Street Boys called us on a video call. I shook the trophy at them and screamed in excitement, “Kyaaak!” They responded in kind, their voices echoing our triumph.
LB laughed heartily.
“Hey, I saw your acceptance speech. If we do a soufflé, does that mean we share the award?”
“The Mint Choco Alliance can, as honorary soufflés.”
“You better not ignore our calls now that you’ve won the grand prize, got it?”
I replied with a laugh to the nine-member group who jokingly threatened not to let us off if we became distant.
I had worried that the debut peer gap might unsettle us, but they were the ones reassuring us first.
“Congratulations, Woojoo.”
“Thanks.”
“Let’s catch up later.”
Hanjo and I exchanged informal greetings, prompting the younger members to awe like the little green aliens from Toy Story.
“…”
“…”
Meanwhile, I exchanged heartfelt thanks with the Street Boys and our agency family over video calls.
The A&R and producing teams, tipsy with drinks, kept saying, “Let’s kiss, woo-woong,” forcing me to end the call hastily.
I spoke with Seokhwan hyung, who was crying, and Director Jo, who was laughing.
And then.
“Ah, my pride… my tears!”
“President, are you crying?”
“No…!”
I also exchanged words with our president, who was sobbing in a bed fit for a princess.
“Dad! Why are you crying in my room? Get out!”
“Sob! Your mother told me to leave the room… Kids, you’ve worked so hard!”
“Th-thank you, President…!”
“Eat… eat well at the celebration! And spend plenty of money!”
He seemed to say something like ‘earn back what you spend,’ but I couldn’t catch the end of it.
Anyway.
After all the greetings, only we, the managers, and the staff remained in the waiting room.
We gathered around the trophy we held, took a group photo, and then…
“…”
We looked at each other, hands resting on the trophy. Rubbing my slightly swollen eyes, I said to the younger members.
“Guys. You really worked hard.”
“So did you, hyung.”
Junghyun slapped my shoulder with his thick hand.
The youngest spoke up.
“Who would have thought last year when we won the Rookie Award that we’d win the grand prize this year?”
“Exactly. Life is so unpredictable.”
“What if we took a time machine back to last year’s awards and said, ‘You’re going to win the grand prize!’ I wonder how we would have reacted?”
At Bijoo’s words, Junghyun replied.
“First, tell me the lottery numbers?”
“Pfft!”
We all burst into laughter at the absurd response. Then we looked at the grand prize trophy in our hands.
“The grand prize…”
“It’s really the grand prize.”
A strange silence fell as we gazed at the trophy.
And then.
“By the way…”
I asked.
“When are you going to let go of the trophy?”
“You let go first, hyung. I’m never letting go.”
“I’m taking it home with me today.”
“Ah, it’s hard to grip it tightly; I’m afraid it might break.”
Every time someone tried to pull the trophy away, we all trembled.
“Let go…”
“I
“Then there’s only one solution.”
“…”
Soon, the five of us, hands on the trophy, shuffled awkwardly, prompting laughter from the managers.
At the same time.
Right after the awards ended, the idol community was ablaze.
“Is Teen Spirit’s Album of the Year even legitimate?”
“It’s practically robbery, so ridiculous.”
“Teen Spirit, lol, what a joke.”
“Baramkkot was expected to be the annual number one, but Album of the Year is just absurd.”
“The performance was so bad, did they win by school kids’ votes?”
Fans of TNT poured out their anger at Teen Spirit’s album award.
“It was judged fairly, what’s the problem?”
“Typical TenTi fans making a fuss again.”
“Did we ask for the award? Did you?”
“New Black’s impact is undeniable, but honestly, isn’t TenTi’s Artist of the Year a bit too much?”
“Downward trend~ A catchy song~”
Teen Spirit’s fans clapped back, defending their idol.
“So, does this make the new ‘Top 3’ boy groups TenTiNew? Or TeenTenNew?”
“Seriously, you’re curious about that now?”
“Does anyone know where Scarlett Rina got the dress she wore at the red carpet today?”
“Seeing this chaos makes me realize how happy I am to be a fan of my idol.”
“Was TenTi on a decline recently? Oh, that’s interesting.”
Others added fuel to the fire with their oblivious comments.
And then.
“What’s going on?”
“They’re all in an uproar.”
“The ones who used to bash us are now fighting each other.”
The Suplé fans stood by, watching the two major groups’ fans tear into each other with a ‘New Black is fine, but who are you to talk?’ attitude.