Chapter 144 - Long Night
Lu Chen was alarmed as soon as he realized that something was wrong with her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and helped her sit up.
On the other hand, Xiu Mei was still in a daze. She desperately clung to Lu Chen’s shirt as her breathing turned ragged. She didn’t know what was happening to her, she felt agitated but she also felt as if she was losing consciousness.
"Wife, open your mouth. You have to keep it open to breathe." Lu Chen cupped her face, holding her cheeks steady.
Even though she was getting disoriented every second, she unconsciously listened to his words. She slightly parted her mouth and breathed.
"Slowly." He murmured while covering her ears. He tried to focus her attention on him as much as possible. "Keep your eyes on me. Then breathe slowly." He lulled.
Her grip on his shirt tightened and even if her mind was in a mess, she obediently listened to him and took slow deep breaths. Her chest heaved up and down continuously as she counted in her head while keeping her eyes on him.
She discerned the look of distress on his face as he desperately tried to help her get through with her panic attack.
Almost an hour later, Xiu Mei returned to normal. Lu Chen never left her side throughout the process and would often whisper her words of encouragement as she tried to breathe properly. By now, it seems that Lu Chen has gotten used to her random episodes and this time, he was quick to notice that there was something wrong with her.
"The food’s gotten a bit cold so I’ll go reheat these first." Lu Chen said after pushing the cart of food inside the room.
He had to instruct them to leave the food outside their room first since he couldn’t stand up and open the door for them at all. Also, he didn’t want anyone to see Xiu Mei at that situation so it was the best he could do at that time.
Xiu Mei nodded. She watched him open the lid one by one and put them on the microwave individually. Since her senses returned, she was somehow still in a daze. Propping her arm on the couch and resting her chin on her hand, she watched him with great interest as he carefully served the foods on the table.
While doing that, she still couldn’t get it off her mind about her recent panic attack.
...I wonder, why did she suddenly get a panic attack?
She hadn’t even realized that she was having a panic attack at all, not until Lu Chen stopped and told her to open her mouth to breathe.
To think she was going to have a panic attack in the middle of their...oh. OH!
Something clicked in her mind, realizing something.
Maybe... it was that?
She didn’t have any panic attacks back when she and Lu Chen kissed multiple times before. But if we count that one time she fell in a daze when they made out in Lu Chen’s office, then it makes sense.
Both times, it was when Lu Chen started touching her. Before he would only deeply kiss her and that’s it. But now, he had started to become more intimate with her. She thought she wasn’t entirely apprehensive with the idea of becoming intimate with him but maybe... she was wrong?
She bit her lip while contemplating the reason.
Was it because she was almost molested back then?
She didn’t even think much about it at all because she was more traumatized by Ying Yue’s death instead of what she went through. But she thinks that maybe she was taking her PTSD too lightly.
...Does this mean that even if she was fine with getting intimate with her husband, somewhere within the depths of her mind, she was deeply traumatized and against getting intimate with males?
"Let’s eat." Lu Chen casually said as he finished serving the final plate on the table. After getting reassured that Xiu Mei was now totally fine, he acted normally as if nothing happened a while ago.
After all, he didn’t want her to get too conscious about it. If she gets anxious because of that, then she might get more often panic attacks in the future. Hence, the only thing he could do is treat normally as possible as if nothing was wrong with her.
Seeing her deep in thought, he walked towards her and pinched her cheeks waking her up from her reverie.
"Dinner is served." He repeated, smiling helplessly at her.
"Oh. Okay." Xiu Mie scrambled to wear the hotel slippers and ran to the table.
The two of them separately prepped before sleeping. After drying her hair completely, she left the bathroom. She laid down on the bed and tried to get some sleep but she couldn’t. She shuffled on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position hoping to trigger her snooze button but it didn’t happen.
Glaring at the moon that hung heavy on the sky, she sighed.
She could only scratch and hold her forehead realizing that sleep won’t visit her anytime soon. Since she couldn’t sleep, she pulled out her phone and sent a brief message to her second brother. Better make use of her time into something instead of wasting it.
She sent him a message about the man with a scar that Doctor Lee drew for her. Since she couldn’t remember who exactly that person is because she didn’t care much back then, her brothers would probably have a better chance of remembering who that person is.
After waiting for a few minutes, her phone didn’t buzz to life at all. She looked at the time flashing on her phone, realizing that it was pretty late.
Maybe he’s already asleep?
Could today be one of the rare days that he could sleep this early?
She wondered. Xiu Mei didn’t bother her second brother any further and placed her phone back on the bedside. Curling on the bed, she hugged her knees while watching the dark blanketed sky. She just stared at it without any thoughts.
Lately, she was having difficulty sleeping. She wasn’t sure whether it was because of the pent up stress from the recent events but surely, it’s one of the factors. The amount of danger and threats she realized she was in, Lu Chen’s secret and now, the person who could possibly be involved in her kidnapping, all these information weighed heavily in her mind. Maybe she was becoming too overwhelmed in taking them all in at once that’s why she was getting more vulnerable each day?
She didn’t know. But right now, Xiu Mei stared at the full moon and silently wished.
’Please let this all be over.’ she whispered to no one. Right now, she was desperately praying for this. Because she didn’t know how much longer she could really take all of this anymore.
She kept staring at the sky like that for a few more minutes.
...Should she go check Lu Chen if he’s already asleep?
Deciding that thought on a whim, she stood up from her bed and left the room in pajamas and all. Her feet stopped in front of his door. She raised her hand to knock on it but she hesitated for the last second.
What if he was already asleep? Won’t it be bad if she wakes him up?
She lowered her hand and contemplated for a little longer. She didn’t know how many times she walked back and forth in front of his door torn whether to knock on it or not.
Imagine her surprise when the door suddenly flew open while she was still thinking it over. She stopped on her tracks and turned towards the door. It was Lu Chen’s figure that she first saw. Her eyes subconsciously traveled down, seeing his unbuttoned top revealing his fit and toned chest and abs.
She gulped while immediately turning her eyes away.
Oh god, that was too tempting.
"Wife." Lu Chen uttered with his deep voice. Because he just woke up from his sleep, his voice was already a bit husky and deep than normal. Hearing her footsteps in front of his door, he couldn’t help but wake up from his slumber.
He was worried that Xiu Mei was probably having another attack again so he didn’t think twice when he opened his door.
"Uh... did I disturb you?"
"No, not really. Do you want to come in?"
"...Can I?"
With her response, Lu Chen was genuinely startled. His grogginess disappeared in an instant as he slightly frowned at her figure.
...It wasn’t like her to say that. Is she probably sleepwalking right now?
Despite that, he still let her inside his room. Xiu Mei scanned the room first before finally sitting at the edge of the bed. He didn’t immediately sit beside her and stood a safe distance away from the bed.
Right now, he had just woken up so his control... is probably nowhere to be found. If he gets closer to her right now, he might suddenly jump on her again, and then she’ll have another panic attack. He didn’t want that to happen again so he chose to distance himself for now.
"I can’t sleep." Xiu Mei whined as if complaining to him, fiddling with her hands. Then she raised her head to look at his figure.
She opened her mouth, hesitating for a second.
Wouldn’t it be too forward?
...But she really can’t sleep ah. And it’s more comfortable if he’s beside her for now.
Making up her mind, she finally said what was on her mind.
"...Can I sleep with you tonight?"